There is unfortunately many queries you must figure out after finding out your mate was cheating in you. Due to your spouse’s thoughtless and selfish actions your whole universe was turned upside down. Through no fault of your own you are struggling with someone else’s mess and unfortunately there’s no way of avoiding it. Although you have many challenges to confront there are three questions that arguably are at the top of the list. Of course you would like to know exactly why they did what they did yet at this stage that takes a back seat to the following: Q. Should You Carry On With The Marriage? This is certainly the most apparent and truthfully maybe the hardest. It is very easy the minute you discover the news your husband or wife had an extramarital affair. But after some time goes by you might not be so positive of your answer. You could still have powerful feelings for your mate and there might be a whole lot of complications that would cause problems if you decide to divorce. It’s a difficult decision and one that only you can make therefore be gentle with yourself. Q. Does Your Mate Wish To Carry On With The Marriage? A lot of spouses that have been victimized by infidelity don’t really take into account whether or not their unfaithful mate wants out of the marriage unless of course they just up and announce he or she had an extramarital affair and are leaving. That occurs but so does a period of indecision when they are not exactly sure what they want to do. Of course you can always beat them to the punch and just say that you’re terminating the marriage but this is not likely to be super easy if you still love them. It will be tough but you may have to wait your spouse out. This does not imply you let your mate to have all the time in the world to make a decision. But if you receive any kind of signal that they are ready to work it out with you then patience on your part could be very advantageous. Q. If perhaps The Answer To Both of these Questions Is Yes Then What Exactly Are The Two Of You Prepared To Undertake To Guarantee The Marriage Gets Fixed? In order for the marital relationship to be repaired there must be a number of rules. Not merely going to some sort of counseling although that would be a significant step. But also some type of monitoring system needs to be implemented. That might be something like your husband or wife checking in with you every hour or you flat out spying on them for a while. Whatever is required to ensure the relationship moves in the right direction after infidelity. That could be a long time down the road so the both of you must decide collectively exactly how much you’re willing to do and then stick with it.